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Author Topic: Joys of living in the "country"  (Read 157 times)

Laurie

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Joys of living in the "country"
« on: October 30, 2018, 12:01:56 pm »

HELP! ........when it rains it pours???? The joys (and expense) of living in the country.......

Lets see.....first, we need to paint the house and the quotes we got ranged from$8,000 - $13,000......

Next -  we had a roof leak, which the roofer supposedly fixed, but now it is leaking again and it has ruined my ceiling in the dining room........

Next.. hubby was bushhogging and the front tire BROKE OFF of the tractor!.........I mean it broke off!......After the tractor people hauled it in, they found a few other things to fix for a grand total of $3,900. ........

Next.. one side of my windshield wiper quit working on my car (passenger side) , and then we got a cool snap and when I turned on the heat in the car.....it blew cold air!.....so now we have to take the car into the shop!

Next......hubby had a tooth ache on one of the anchor teeth of a bridge....dentist sent him to a periodontist who said he would lose the tooth and recommended implants.....and you can't imagine how expensive they are...

Today....hubby turned on the hose at the frost free faucet next to the well to run water in the pool and when he went to shut off the hose, the water kept coming......handle is broken I guess.....the well man is on the way.


I NEED TO WIN THE LOTTERY >:( >:( >:( :-X :-X :'( :'( :'(.........and move to a condo........


on the plus side.....my one old horse and old dog are doing OK.......but when they go to heaven.......I'm downsizing!
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kckc

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Re: Joys of living in the "country"
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2018, 04:56:28 pm »

I think that is the joy of "ownership"  :-)   all the repairs, maintenance, issues....   I seriously think the answer as you age is rental... with good landlords... I am so over mowing, weeding, fixing, repairing, paying... just so so done...
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foxtrotter

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Re: Joys of living in the "country"
« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2018, 05:11:19 pm »

  Yes, I agree with KCKC, that is the joy of 'ownership'.   Don't know much about condo living myself, but a friend of mine moved into one in the last few years, and she said, it's better to rent.  At her condo, you are responsible for fixing things in your condo, where she rented, the renting company had to fix everything.
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Laurie

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Re: Joys of living in the "country"
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2018, 07:01:54 am »

That's my goal....to figure out if I can find a place to live that does not require me to spend hours and lots of money on upkeep.  Right now I am thankful that it is almost the end of the mowing season.  I used to do all the mowing and bushhogging until this past year.  I got sick and hubby took over.  We only have 12.5 acres to mow and bushhogg, but it takes us about 3 days to do it all.......yard and lawnmower area one day, front pasture the next, and back pasture the third day. That's mowing about 4 hours per day, which is about all we can stand in one session. I used to not mind it.....but as I got older it just takes a lot out of you.  The rest is just money, which I need more of......I do know that if  when I downsize it will be to a house or condo that is all brick and does not need a lot of painting! My current house is mostly wood which need regular painting.  Just now that we are both retired, I want less responsibility.

I also know that I want a level floor - no stairs - wide doors - and handicapped accessible bath (just in case) - having dealt with my 94 year old mom who had to leave her small home because it was not accommodating to walkers or wheelchairs and had no walk in shower, you got to look ahead! Boy do I sound depressing.......I must be in a mood.


Maybe I can build a small house on the front pasture and sell the rest?

We used to think we wanted to retire and move to the coast, but after the past few years of hurricanes, I don't think I want to do that anymore. 

Forgive my ranting and complaining.  I wouldn't have traded my life in the country with my dogs and horses for anything...
After living in the country for the last 32 years, I don't know if I can be happy being so close to neighbors.... I have a lot of saddles to sell, but don't have the energy to clean them up!  Its H#$%kl getting old!

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ponymare

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Re: Joys of living in the "country"
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2018, 09:04:21 am »

We are trying to build a place where we can "age in place" but there will still be maintenance involved. This is what scares me about retirement. All those things that break (or in our case, age) require money! This next house may not be our last stop but we will enjoy it while we can. I don't want to be sitting at the nursing home wishing we'd taken more chances and realized our dreams.

But I totally get where you are coming from!
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Laurie

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Re: Joys of living in the "country"
« Reply #5 on: October 31, 2018, 11:43:49 am »

I agree Ponymare. So.....live your dreams while you can because you never know what will happen to change those plans.

We had it planned that when I retired (and all the animals had gone to heaven) we would move to the beach, travel and enjoy retired life.......well, that was before my elderly mother needed my help (she didn't want it) but she was not doing well on her own at 91. Long story short, she was mugged in her  driveway, ended up in the hospital, rehab and then to assisted living. She's now almost 94 and we have moved her to an assisted living residence near me. she's been in the hospital twice (once with flu you guys)  I have total responsibility for her since my two sisters live far far away.  I think the stress is what did my health in......pulmonary embolisms and then COPD. I have all I can do to take care of her and me. 

I don't begrudge helping mom, she is my mother and I love her, but she does not want to be there, has dementia, and daily demands that I bring her her car and let her go home. Its just stressful. I want to plan for myself so that I will be able to age where I am as long as possible. ....

Do it now....no one is promised tomorrow!
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ponymare

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Re: Joys of living in the "country"
« Reply #6 on: November 01, 2018, 03:40:45 pm »

So true Laurie. I am so grateful that my father was able to stay in his place until the end. But he was starting to fall and had twisted his knee the week he died. We moved him to my son's that week for a couple of days and he begged to go back home where he died in his bed that same night. I truly believe he saw the writing on the wall at 96 and just willed it to leave this world.  I was euphoric that we didn't have to make those tough decisions and felt released from duty with his blessing. He was my last obligation at home so I am chafing at the bit to move before our health is compromised. And while we still can. 

In re-reading this post, it almost sounds heartless, but it was truly the best outcome for him.
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Laurie

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Re: Joys of living in the "country"
« Reply #7 on: November 01, 2018, 04:16:33 pm »

Ponymare it does not sound heartless at all. I totally understand. You gave your dad exactly what he wanted.....he was able to pass at home where he was comfortable and at peace.   My dad passed when he was 83, at home in his bed with a massive heart attack. He woke up one morning, asked my mother for an aspirin and was gone when she returned. Eventually we were all relieved because he had a fear of hospitals and nursing homes and would have been so miserable had he had to live in one.   He died exactly where he wanted to - at home..
I feel bad my mother has to be in assisted living, but with her dementia and physical condition (wheel chair bound) she needs help with bathing, dressing, etc., and I am not physically able to do it, and my house is not accessible for walkers and wheelchairs.   I have been dragging my feet on having an estate sale of her home furnishings and stuff, and then selling her house, but I need to get it done so she can have that money available.  I feel extreme guilty about selling her stuff.    :-\ :-\

Anyway, life is short, so enjoy it while you can! Ride your best horse ;D

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kckc

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Re: Joys of living in the "country"
« Reply #8 on: November 01, 2018, 04:36:19 pm »

PonyMare‚Ķ no guilt...  you aren't happy he's gone... just relieved FOR him
Laurie - there are companies that do the whole kit & caboodle for you in the estate.  A friend of mine just lost her mom to dementia and her dad is 82 (healthy 82) but her plan is to have this company come in and do all the sorting, photographing, selling etc.   Think about doing it sooner rather than later - if she suddenly has more expensive needs you will be wishing it was already done  :-(
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ponymare

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Re: Joys of living in the "country"
« Reply #9 on: November 01, 2018, 11:09:11 pm »

Laurie, what KCKC said! We used a company that does that sort of thing to clear Daddy's house before we sold it and it was so worth it although I was resistant at first and felt like I should be able to do it all myself. My sister was too far away and my brother was happy to turn it over to someone else. It didn't even cost that much after they sorted and sold everything we didn't want. They saved all important things for me to look through along with any keepsakes. They handled online auction and sales and took a percentage of profits off the bill. They cleaned out house as well as two falling down sheds of junk for a reasonable price and were awesome. See if there is a Caring Transitions franchise near you. Can't recommend them enough and they were truly a blessing to us.
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Laurie

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Re: Joys of living in the "country"
« Reply #10 on: November 02, 2018, 07:39:18 am »

KCKC and Ponymare,
Thanks for the advice.  Unfortunately there is no Caring Transitions in Memphis, where my mother's house is.  There are Caring Transitions  in neighboring states but I don't know if they do out of town work. I did contact several estate sale companies locally and one of them did come out to see the house and is supposed to get back to me with a plan.  One thing I found was that the major estate sale companies only handle "big" estates that can bring in $17,000 - $20,000 in sales from the furnishings and stuff that is sold.  My mom lived in a small 2 bedroom house that would not bring in that much.  So one company recommended other  companies that work with "smaller" estates. I met with one and she said she is interested in doing the sale and also possibly even buying the house to renovate and flip.   I hope it works out. My mom's house is in a good neighborhood that is popular with young people now and the small houses are selling fast for top dollar........however her house has not  had any upgrades since she has lived there.....almost 60 plus years, so the small kitchen and bathroom need a complete redo for today's buyers. I am looked for a company to sell all everything and clean out attic and garage.  This company is supposed to do that....however I have not heard back from her and it has been a month.  She told me she had two major sales in October, but I plan to check with her today and see if she is still willing to do the work. I will be so glad when this is done.

This process has made me want to purge my house and get rid of all my stuff. I have a house full and an outbuilding full that needs to be cleaned out.  I have been a collector of things .....mostly of books and old dog stuff.  I am getting ready to begin hauling my books in small batches to the library for their friends of the library sale.  I also have lots of horse books that I will probably list on the board to see if anyone wants, though I hate to mail stuff.  I used to have a business of selling dog figurines and vintage collectibles at dog shows, and when I closed the business, I just boxed it all up and put it in the attic.  I have all that stuff to sell too......YIKES! See, this process with my mom is translating to wanting to simplify my own life........like that book Swedish Death Cleansing.......

Well, first mom.....then me.
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ponymare

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Re: Joys of living in the "country"
« Reply #11 on: November 02, 2018, 09:03:02 am »

I know our Caring Transitions team has done sales in Oxford and further "up north." I will check with Carla and see if they are interested or could even do it. Can you private message me an address so she can look at distance?  They are really good and even braved a mean old possum in my father's falling in storage house.  :o

I was so impressed with them, I might have them help me downsize my "kingdom."  The way they explain it (and it was true for me) is that every thing I handle has more meaning for me (even the junk) and that's why it doesn't take them as long to go through stuff as it does me.  I tried to do it on my own, starting shortly after my father's death last September and it was so physically and mentally draining, I threw in the towel and we engaged them in April. Once they got started, things moved very quickly. They would have me come look at a pile of things they were unsure about, and they found things that had been lost for years.  I would even tell them specific things to look for (like my Mother's short lace wedding dress that my grandmother made) and voila', they would find it!  They found an old autograph book from the 1800's that I had despaired of ever seeing again. I was sure it was gone.

I still had a few things that I wanted my sister to look through and I was able to separate those piles into boxes for each of us. They may not have wanted what I saved for them, but I made them have to throw a few things away themselves! 

My father was a VERY private person, and I went through a few of his things myself first because I just wanted to respect his privacy, even in death. 

I took some books to the library as well and told them I wanted old blankets and bedding to go to the local rescue. I insisted my brother go through old papers and told him where to look for them. Anything not needed was shredded. Old computer hard drives were destroyed. It was awesome! So freeing! 

I'm like you. I have boxes in the attic from our last move 18 years ago, so the likelihood of me needing any of it is pretty slim. I have always just "toted" boxes from each house to the next one instead of purging it all. Now it is catching up with me, but theoretically, I should have more time to attend to them before my next move.  One of the problem is the same as with my father's house though. I'm allergic to mold and dust and there isn't much way to clean without stirring up a lot of dust.  So I just try to peacefully co-exist with it!  ;D

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Laurie

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Re: Joys of living in the "country"
« Reply #12 on: November 02, 2018, 11:15:54 am »

Ponymare I will message you the address, but I have already called another company that I am meeting with next Wednesday. Today, I called the lady from the company I met with last month who was supposed to get back with me......... and she told me that the estate was not large enough for her and then she recommended I call this other company, which I did this morning.  I meet with the new company next week.  I will let you know how it goes.

Yes, I need to let go of stuff.  I already brought some of mom's stuff to my house thinking I wanted it, and I am now thinking of taking it back!  I don't need more stuff.  Its just hard to sell the items you grew up with....
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ponymare

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Re: Joys of living in the "country"
« Reply #13 on: November 02, 2018, 12:12:24 pm »

Yes, definitely. I have way too much furniture now because nobody wanted it and I didn't want it going to a stranger when it meant so much to me.

Good luck with the process!
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